I’ve spent my whole life trying to fit in, trying to belong somewhere. No matter what I have done I know I don’t belong here. My words are not my own, and no one understands me…ever. I walk around in constant fear and sadness looking for a brief moment of genuine love and commitment. I have searched inward and found a lonely place. I have searched out ward and found a lot of empty space. I looked to the face of familiarity but nothing is familiar anymore. I looked for love in the arms of a man who’s arms were holding on to another. I tried loving myself, but I don’t know what that looks like. How can I when I don’t even know what true love feels like. I start to feel this isn’t real, and this isn’t really happening , but it is cause here this shell stands with limitless boundaries.
I want to figure out what I am here for, there has to be so much more. I couldn’t have come to just experience pain, just to move mountains or shield others from the rain. I can build up anyone but can’t find peace in myself. How do you find hope in a shallow well. I wait for friends, family, the man of my dreams, I’ve prayed to all kinds of ungodly things. Now I want truth and I want to find myself and finally be free, from being in empty spaces that doesn’t belong to me.