life, love, self motivation, life journey, self help, depression

Random thoughts

The lyrics to one of my favorite songs from 1982, came from the album “The Dude” by Quincy Jones and performed by Patti Austin. I was only 12 then but I could understand the concept, maybe not from the perspective it was written but in some way.

“Loving you, came easily, and it made me blind to all there was to see. Now it’s getting to be plain. To understand, I never will. How did it come to be that you don’t love me still? Now it’s getting to be plain.”

If you really cared about anyone else I know you wouldn’t hurt me.

I did my best to bring you joy, how could you just treat me like a broken toy? Where’s the man, that once was you? If I could be within your mind, I would never think to treat you this unkind! The pain you cause will come to you!”

That song has been running around in my head all day, I guess it best describes that feeling to me. Although I would never wish that pain on anyone, because I know how profound it is. I guess what caught me, as I suffered through heightened anxiety today was now I can understand it from a more adult aspect. While we will all love and lose at some point, there is always that one that never know what it was to you. So I sat in my favorite place to think today,(really need to get rid of that chair) the anger subsided and it was met with extreme sadness. 

Someone told me these things a time or two, I assume I didn’t read between the lines. what you can do is love unbridled, as much as possible, with all you can, and without conditions. You can give your soul, and leave all your feelings on the floor where they landed. You can show and prove everyday until you’ve run out of ideas. You can mend a broken heart, and believe in the potential. You can lift up, and try your hardest to breathe life into a person even down to your last breath, with no boundaries. What you can’t do is make them love you back or even understand. You can’t control who they love no matter what you have to offer, there is always someone who has that in spades. 

What you can do is be as honest as you can, speak as elementary and concise as you know how. You can express with all the words and actions you can find. What you can’t do is make them believe you. You can explain, but you can’t make anyone understand. 

You can be your best you but you can’t be someone else…

With this knowledge, what you can do is wonder why but you can’t force anyone to answer. Love is energy and it is neither created or destroyed, it is constant so I know that I will always love you. I hope you always know that feeling, cause we all deserve that. 

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