life, love, self motivation, life journey, self help, depression · relationships, heart ache, new beginnings

Reminisce .05

The thought of that day makes me uncomfortably shift in my seat, and I just acquired an unquenchable thirst. I get up and go to the kitchen for some water, but I can’t stop my mind from racing to that day. It is vivid, I can feel it the air was cool and the music from the car was loud. I can see the look on my friends face, with that goofy grin and that “come get my booty” look in her eye. 

I try singing along to the song playing on Pandora, but this song only makes it extremely hot and make the memories more clear. Heather Headly is singing “He is the mind injector, the heart protector, the soul defender of anything I fear, the baby conceiver, the make me believer, the joy bring, the love giver”, hell yeah he is. How am I having this feeling and he is no where around. I just lay back on the couch cause, I’m gonna need a cold shower before this is over.

His name is Adonis, like the greek god of beauty and desire. How did I get tongued tied and verbal at the same time. His face was a remarkable work of art. He spoke but I can’t remember a word, his chiseled jaw line over shadows his words. Strong features, high cheek bones, and eyes as inviting as his southern hospitality. His chest was defined under his shirt, I suspect he could look good in virtually anything or nothing at all. yes all that in 2.5 seconds. His legs looked strong and there was an air of arrogance, humility, coolness and an intense sexuality in the way he stood with that boyish smile. I guess boyish would be relevant since he is only 21. He is barely legal and I am feeling like a dirty old woman. He spoke and his voice sounded like silky, drops of chocolate falling from a fountain. Now, being from the north, hearing the slightest of southern drawl in his voice was quite noticeable and for me kinda sexy. While they talked I think I kinda wanted to bite his bottom lip, but seeing how she fell into his words told me he was not just your everyday, boy I grew up with friend.

I snap out of it quick, and I am sure it went undetected by either of them. I proceeded to get back to the 33-year-old woman I was and ditched the young girl idea. I believe I made a reference to the music in the car being loud or something that instantly made me feel like an adult. Focusing on the car I asked what he did, he said he went to school. Forgive me for stereotyping this young man who stood before me but nothing about him said “I’m scholarly”, “Yeah, what are you taking?” I’m gonna need a quick answer on this cause, well…huh. And Business fell off his lips, I don’t know if I said it out loud but I remember thinking, is that what they call it these days. It was time for me to excuse myself from that situation, it was truly uncomfortable, she’s smiling widely, he looks like she had been dipped in platinum, plus the kids were kinda fussy.

Once at home, I dismissed that surge of hormones to the fact that my relationship was crumbling and I just needed something. Besides I would never see him again, and he’s 12, why would he want me, I got a daughter that is darn near his age, yes a lot of self talk went into that. Now I lay me down to sleep, with the imagination of a 16-year-old dreaming of the first time. Well back to reality as the sun rises….

…There’s more



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